Date: 06/05/2012 10:41 PM Title: Chapter 1
This story is laughable. The attempted characterizations are in no way related to what we see in the books. Take the names off the characters and they are unrecognizable. I suppose you'll tell me that that's the whole point...the locket made them do it!Well let's see...Harry wasn't wearing the locket, was he? He's going to betray Ron in the worst way possible literally 4 seconds after Ron is gone? How does he know Ron's not coming back right away? You don’t think his brain is going to be a bit preoccupied with the shock that his best friend—his first friend!—just left? You don’t think he’s going to feel a little guilty about practically shoving Ron out of the tent? Harry, the man with the largest guilt complex ever? There is surprisingly little faith in Harry’s impulse control, lumping him in with the stereotypical sex-obsessed teenaged boy. When has Harry ever put his pleasure over anything? (The Horcrux! But hasn’t he been more or less mentally linked to Voldemort for a while now? What’s a Horcrux to Harry…especially one he wasn’t wearing at the time.)But now he’s just going to stand there and be railroaded by sexed-up Hermione? I mean, tell me it’s not amusing when Harry is rendered incapable of thought at the sight of Hermione’s open shirt. He’s written like he’s never seen a girl before and that he’s some sort of repressed virgin from a slapstick teen comedy. I mean, he’s already had 2 girlfriends so I think he knows what breasts are. Not to mention he’s not exactly sitting in his room jerking off…he’s kind of in the middle of a war here. I mean, Hermione opens her shirt and he turns into an idiot, completely forgetting Voldemort, the war, his own heartache that Ron is gone, being chased by murderers, being responsible for the fate of the world, being cold, wet, hungry, and tired. I’m sorry, but blood could not physically rush to his penis fast enough to overcome all of that. I’d be surprised if he could even manufacture the desire to obtain an erection in the face of all of that. Contrary to this story’s implied opinion, males do not respond sexually upon command. Emotions do matter. If someone just found out that he might never see his best friend again, the one he’s known half his life, I don’t think he’d be ready for action in the next minute.And the take that the locket somehow amplifies feelings that were already there is a tissue-thin plot driver. If Harry and Hermione were so hot and heavy, why did it take until Ron left for them to screw each other? Why didn’t they do it when he was passed out from blood loss? Or asleep? Or looking for food? Or scouting the Ministry? Or getting water? Or taking a shower? Or on watch? Heck, why not just do it right in front of him if this lust is so irrepressible? Why did the locket even drive them to sex, anyway? I mean, reading Hermione go straight into cussing and ripping her clothes off ignores credulity, especially when we know what her canon reaction is. Once again, she wore the locket before this and didn’t start swearing or stripping. This story would have us believe that all it took for Hermione and Harry to fall into bed together was for Hermione to be angry with Ron and for him to be out of sight…yeah, like that’s never happened before! The locket amplifies what’s already there…so it amplifies a dubious lust claim instead of anything else? Not insecurity, or remorse, or self-doubt, or self-hatred? All of these feelings were present in Hermione and Harry when Ron was gone…in fact, it just seems like there is no respect for Ron as a character or for his influence/importance to Hermione or Harry. Maybe that’s the real explanation after all, a commentary on Ron’s insignificance…because people who actually care about each other don’t try to destroy each other right after one of them leaves.I mean, Hermione’s reaction to all of this…no remorse, just a megalomaniacal brainwashing of Harry so she doesn’t have to talk about it. Yikes…I don’t think Ron OR Harry fans would want them to end up with this version of Hermione, s scheming plotter seemingly incapable of any selfless emotion.Furthermore, the last few paragraphs of this story were really amusing, watching the historical justifications for Harry and Hermione’s mutual attraction get crowbarred in. Where is this “attraction” is coming from; especially if you’re trying to make us all believe that this is a canon story with canon characters. If this lust was so overpowering, why didn’t either of them even remotely come close to making a move on the other in any book? The point-of-view of Harry Potter is first person from Harry’s point-of-view; it seems like something major like this would have been fairly easy to see and wouldn’t have needed some bizarre disclosure like we get here. Hermione is extremely emotional and jealous…yet never channels this towards Harry when he’s with other girls. She’s never upset that he doesn’t look at her as a romantic partner. And Harry…like I said, the books are from his point-of-view! He didn’t even try to hook up with her during the whole Lavender situation for goodness’ sakes.Oh, wait, I forgot—the answer to every question is the locket! Too bad that thing got destroyed, it really took away the engine for a lot of zany road trips ;)PS: The sex scene reads like it was written by a 13-year-old…no offense if you’re 13! “I'm fucking you Hermione!” moaned Harry…The orgasm that thundered through her nervous system like a stampede of mammoths…he stiffened, as she felt his jism splash up inside her”
Author's Response: Sorry it didn't work for you. Perhaps if you're not up to dealing with stories in which characters fall influence to the malign influence of supernatural forces, stories about characters being influenced by malignant magical forces don't belong on your reading list. Thanks for reading.
Date: 01/20/2012 06:59 PM Title: Chapter 1
Aww, sad that Hermione obliviates Harry. Does it matter? No! If they are meant to be together (eg. they want to **** eachother senseless) they are, as they obviously are in this fic. Good job writing; keep up the good work!
I don't think there's anything in this story that indicates that Harry and Hermione belong together. The simple fact that, underlying their friendship is a perfectly normal thread of attraction doesn't mean they're each other's One and Only: attractions come and go, and operate in various levels and various strengths.
I agree, though, that it is sad that Hermione obliviates Harry. There's a bittersweet element of melancholy, to me, in knowing that she'll carry this knowledge, which neither of her boys will ever know, of what went on between them.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'd hate for you to think that my disagreement with your interpretation means I don't appreciate the time and effort you gave to my story, because I really do.
Date: 03/24/2011 11:08 PM Title: Chapter 1
I was kind of hoping that you were going to go a different way with this. Hermione tampering with people's memories wasn't what I expected in the slightest. I was thinking maybe they would discover a way to destroy horcruxes. The power of love or making love at any rate.
I don't think what went on between Harry and Hermione on that table had anything to do with love. It was lust and spite and sexual aggression, a twisting of a very normal underlying feeling of desire into something very dark and nasty. Nothing there that could harm a Horcrux!
Thank you for reading and reviewing! I really do appreciate it, even if I disagree with your take on the tale. I apologize for the tardiness of my response.
Date: 03/04/2011 08:15 AM Title: Chapter 1
That was very intense, I have to say, lthough, I would've appreciated a bit more build-up. Nevertheless, it was a fun oneshot.
One comment: The Horcrux didn't necessarily enhance what was already there, but play off of one's insecurities, intensify one's negative emotions. That may seem like a minute difference, but it IS a difference. ;)
Again, very enjoyable! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks very much for the review. I agree that the Horcrux worked with the dark side of the Trio's emotions, be it Ron's insecurities, or Harry and Hermione's perfectly normal underlying attraction. So very sorry to be so late responding!
Date: 01/30/2010 01:38 PM Title: Chapter 1
urg...that was just wrong...hot, but ooh so wrong. I think the language that they used was OOC but having said that, the whole idea is that Herms and Harry (in canon at least) are sexless beings but at 17/18 how could they be spending day after day together and not think of sex. I just didn't think that it would be quite like that esp. (I'm assuming) considering that its their first times...or is it? mmm... bad CA get your head outta the gutter
Author's Response: Well, my intention was that both the language they used and their sexual confidence on this, their mutual first time, is a clue and reminder that the Horcrux is manipulating them. I approve of heads in the gutter, personally! That's where the fun is! Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Date: 01/19/2010 07:50 PM Title: Chapter 1
This was an interesting story. I really like the memory charm at the end.
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words. The memory charm was the key for me to making this a story: It gives emotional resonance by leaving Hermione to carry this secret, and brings us back into Canon, planting the seed to Harry's trite words to Ron in "The Silver Doe."
Date: 09/15/2009 11:31 PM Title: Chapter 1
Dear god! That was great--and I personally always thought those two would be a much better couple than Ron & Hermione.
Author's Response: Well, given that this encounter is spiteful and nasty and caused by mental manipulations by a part of Tom Riddle's twisted soul, I don't think it says much for their long-term compatibility, but I'm glad you enjoyed the story!
Date: 08/08/2009 02:58 PM Title: Chapter 1
I just had to read this again. I just love it...how sad that she will always have to know what happend and him to know nothing....it's so sad, but very good.
Author's Response: I find it sad but also very moving, and in a real way, a testament to Hermione's strength, and her love for both of her boys. I like the notion that she'll have to carry this knowledge forward, but that she has the strength to do so. THanks for coming back to re-read again. I'm always glad to have you.
Date: 05/15/2009 01:40 PM Title: Chapter 1
Well I just read your author's response to flatliner15's review and how you couldn't think of a circumstance under which Hermione would tell Ron this happened... I can. Veritaserum. Don't know how you feel about the idea but... =P
Author's Response: Who would give her Veritaserum? Why? How would they happen upon the right question to ask to bring out this response, and , again, why?