Date: 08/19/2009 07:37 PM Title: Acceptance
Hmmm I guess somehow you offended both sets of canon worshippers lol.... From an objective standpoint yes this was pretty well written.... I would say that the fact that people get riled about it says something yes? Good story!
Date: 05/19/2008 06:08 AM Title: Acknowledgment
I loved it! I've always thought Harry and Hermione were much better suited for each other, although I'm a rabid Harry/Ginny shipper. I also didn't quite believe Harry when he told Ron in DH that he only loved Hermione as a sister. How could he never have been attracted to such a beautiful, intelligent girl? But like "your" Harry, he would not have acted on those feelings because of Ron. Also, in HBP and DH, Harry never at any point tells Ginny he loves her, although he obviously does. He hurt her deeply when he broke up with her after Dumbledore's funeral. After it was all over and things returned to normal, I don't think Ginny would have been too quick to forgive Harry or take him back. Ron and Hermione fought so much despite their obvious attraction to each other. It bothers me that Hermione made the first move, when she impulsively kissed Ron in DH. When would he ever have done it himself instead of waiting for her to initiate it? I can easily see Harry and Hermione coming together because they were tired of waiting for their respective Weasley. I think Hermione had wanted Harry for a long time, as evidenced in HBP when she told him he had never been more fanciable. But of course these are only my own ideas and others will see the situation quite differently. I really did love your story.
Date: 03/24/2008 01:19 PM Title: Acknowledgment
I really enjoyed your first chapter. The pretext of practicing on one another when neither is in a relationship with anyone else, and the awkwardness of reading the book, facing embarrassing questions and muddling through their first times was all very sweet.
Your writing is fine in your second chapter, but I have to say the content was a bit disturbing in that the whole idea of Harry or Hermione planning in advance to be unfaithful to their respective partners is so unlike either of them. Harry, in particular, is known for sacrificing himself and his own needs for the good of others. He would NEVER do that to Ron.
At best, I might believe a scenario where Harry & Hermione succumb to their mutual attraction during extenuating circumstances, thereby cheating on their respective partners, but I think the guilt afterward would eat them alive.
I could possibly see this working with other characters ... perhaps Pansy and Seamus could sleep together before pursuing Draco and Lavender, and then wanting to keep a little something going in the background, but I just can't buy into the idea for Harry and Hermione.
Date: 03/23/2008 06:29 PM Title: Acceptance
This was different, but to tell the truth it didn't make much sense to me. How incredibly shallow and selfish could Harry and Hermione be? To purposely break up relationships just so that they could turn around and cheat on these people they supposedly love and stole from someone else? I think your writing ability is very good, but you created very unsympathetic characters that don't encourage a reader to connect with them. Perhaps that's the point.
Date: 03/21/2008 01:38 PM Title: Acknowledgment
Well, it was an interesting premise, though I deduced the identity of the lovers before you spelled it out, but I'm afraid none of their actions make any sense.
If Harry and Hermione are so in love with each other after one shag, they would have no purpose to go after the ones they "need and want". But to resolutely decide to cheat with each other on unions that haven't even developed yet, seems not only presumptuous, but completely irredeemable. Neither Harry nor Hermione warrant such a trashing of their character.
You sort of amped the insult by having them "obtain" their true loves by such means as to render each unrecognizable. If you love someone that much, their happiness is of great import to you. You don't drag them away from their girlfriend and call her a bitch to prove your devotion to them. H and Hr dialogue to each other is a bit insipid. It has no basis in reality. If you want to devise a way for them to practice sexual technique on each other in order to seduce their real objects of affection, then keep it platonic.
Sorry to be rough, but your main characters' feelings are insane.
Date: 03/21/2008 10:21 AM Title: Acknowledgment
I've started reading a few "Stranded" chapters, and they look promising coz of the H/G in it.
However, this new fic I can't finish coz it's an H/Hr (sigh).
Perhaps I'm conflicted about this coz of the concept of "loving two persons at the same time, with equal passion/fervor". Haven't experienced it yet so that's why it's hard for me to grasp this concept.
Anyway, you've proven that you're a good writer and I'm sure that H/Hr fans would love this.