Date: 03/22/2011 06:40 AM Title: Chapter 1
I just finished reading this story, I must confess I didn't fully read it but skipped some parts here and there.
I really like the way you use your vocabulary, finding just the right words for the right expression. I also have some things I think could improve in your writing:
In my opinion you write a little too direct: There's little thought of the characters and it's hard to get -inside- their head because of this. I think especially in a story with this subject it would be a lot more gripping when you could ampathize with the charactere a bit more.
Again this is something that coincides with my first remark, there isn't enough description of detail. I know this is a relatively short story (and we all know who Ron and Hermoine are), but a bit more description of their clothing, their reactions and the surroundings couldn't harm.
I think you are really going the right way as a writer, but there's still some things you could improve on.
All in all great job!
Hello Dear Anonymous!
This is just a hobby of mine, I'm really not aiming for the Pulitzer Prize or anything. *snorts* Nor do I get paid for this and do this on my very limited free time. In short-it's supposed to be for fun. Having been around A LONG time in fandom, I have to say that being critical of somebody's work is not very nice, no matter how nicely you try to word it.
Have a fabulous week!
Date: 05/04/2010 07:15 AM Title: Chapter 1
I just read this, and from the first chapter - I was hooked. I needed to stop reading because I had things to do, but I just couldn't stop! You've covered a very sensitive and horrible subject, but handled it very well. Your characters - mostly Ron - are very canon and in character, and I have to admit - I shedded afew tears. Okay, not afew - alot. I feel so bad for Hermione and i'm glad she had such a strong rock called Ron there for her.
I would of been more than happy to of held Aaron's arms back while Ron punched him VERY VERY hard after what that prat did to her.
Very well written, and I hope to read more of your stories. Oh, and the art is gorgeous! Everyone's so talented! I wish I could write/draw like you lot.
Take Care! x
Hello Lovely rhrlove1!
I am so touched you liked this story. The subject matter was very intense and I didn't want to cross the line. It broke my heart in certain places of this story when I was writing it. I tried to get into their heads and their emotions and just went with it. Your comments made my day and please know that I do so appreciate it very much! The art was gorgeous and I was just so happy how they perfectly captured those scenes in the story. Thanks again, dear! *hugs*
Date: 10/10/2009 08:04 AM Title: Chapter 1
(smiles) I told my sister about this story, and at first she just looked at me like- how can anybody read something like that... but I made her read it, she had tears in her eyes when she got to the part about how ron almost hit his dad, and I have to say that part almost killed me too. but when she was done she said it was a good story, she said "it's strange how you could feel so much pain and hope at the sametime" this coming from a girl who only reads the back of boxes....so I just wanted to let you know, your work is good and the way you put us into your stories means alot... not only to me but I think all of us who read your stories....thank you for the time and heart you put into everyone.
your biggest fan...Iris m
Oh iris m!
I'm sitting here crying my eyes out. I honestly don't think I have ever been so moved. I don't even know what to say as "thank you" doesn't seem enough. I write because I love to write. I also fiercely love my readers even if that sounds corny. If someone takes time out from their busy day to leave me a review, I want that person to know that it means the world to me. I will never forget this review from you...not ever. I am completely and utterly emotional right now. Thank you so much, iris! *hugs*
Date: 10/09/2009 01:38 PM Title: Chapter 5
This tribute is magnificent...best chapter yet. You do emotions so well, I only wish I could process my emotions as well as you write them. Pictures, pictures, and pictures of hate come up off of these pages...keep up the good work my dear!
Hello Lovely FreeRaven!
Thank you so very much for your kind comments. I tried so hard to articulate how she was feeling. It was a very emotionally draining story to write. Your review was very touching and thanks again for being so lovely! *hugs*
Date: 10/08/2009 05:00 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Epilogue
FUCKING COOL AS HELL!!!!! omg at first was has like can I read this..but i'm so happy I did....you had me crying but I just loved the end... best one to date, thats the truth.....omg :)
It's the lovely iris m! *hugs*
"FUCKING COOL AS HELL" had me laughing you little scamp! *smiles* I am so glad you liked this story. The subject matter is very painful and trust me when I tell you that it was hard to write certain parts. You saying that you cried had me tear up as well. That really meant a lot to me and I'm not sure why but it did. Thanks so much for all your support and this wonderful review. I adore you to pieces dearest! *smooch*
Date: 10/08/2009 04:06 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Epilogue
I really liked this story, though I had a little trouble finishing it, due to its content. This is certainly one of your darker stories. I hoped that Abhorson would have been somehow Transfigured into a woman and left in a rapist's cell in Azkaban, so he could "enjoy rough and kinky sex" as he claimed Hermione did.
Hello Lovely, Lovely kareem33!
This truly was a darker story of mine and was very difficult to write. As a woman, I tried to put myself in her place. What would I do? How would I feel? Would I fall apart? I would fall apart to be honest but I wanted Hermione to be stronger than that...stronger than me. I thank you so much for your kind comments as they mean the world to me and so do you! *hugs*
Date: 10/07/2009 12:35 PM Title: Chapter 1
In many ways this was a very hard story to read (due to the subject matter) but it was very well done and i really did enjoy reading it. This story actually made me quite emotional (and it is quite rare for me to get such a emotional reaction to a story).
Its amazing how you can keep writing so many great Ron/Hermione stories. You really do have a gift.
My Dear ykickamoocow! *hugs*
Can I just tell you that your review really moved me. Rape is such a horrible, brutal act. I really wanted to write this as tastefully as possible. A woman who has been raped has to deal with so many emotions- fear, shame, pain and incredible sadness. I didn't want to take away Hermione's strength in this one, though I do have her fall apart from time to time.
As for our boy, I could honestly see him reacting the way he did. He has always been protective and loyal. I could only imagine the pain and anger he would feel if our girl was violated. I actually picture he and Charlie getting justice in the end.
Thank you so much for your lovely review. I am truly, truly touched! *hugs*
Date: 10/07/2009 08:36 AM Title: Chapter 11 - Epilogue
This was such a heartbreaking story, reading Hermione being hurt like that. You really wrote this hard topic really well. I really felt what hermione was going through and I love how much ron took care of her. I love that she became a lawyer at the end and want to fight for victims like her. It ended beautifully with every one happy. I hope whoever took aaron gave him what he deserves.
Hello Lovely muggle87!
Thank you so very much! *hugs* I really had a difficult time writing it and didn't want it to in anyway glamorize the horrors of being raped. I wanted to dig deeper into the character of Hermione who I admire so much. I also love Ron and I truly think it would have been heartbreaking to him. I thank you again so much for your beautiful review. You'll never know how much it means to me! *hugs*
Date: 10/06/2009 04:52 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Epilogue
Hello again beautiful writer-
You have taken such an aweful subject and turned it into a story about unwavering love and support. As you know I love your Ron - he should be an inspiration to all those clueless gits out there. His emotions I'm guessing were spot on! And it was heartbreaking to hear our favorite girl finally breakdown after the verdict. Sadly - I think stuff like that happens more often than not - I'm glad there was some justice served in the end - even if Ron & Harry had to do it themselves. I liked the way you weaved in the motivation for Hermione to study Magical Law. The love scene in Chapter 10 was amazing. You could feel how Hermione was healing and learning to trust herself agian with Ron.
Thanks again for an amazing read - I'm your biggest fan! ~ Heather
BTW - the scene with Charlie was one of my favorites *grins* he is such a bad boy - but oh how I would love to have a piece of that!
My Darling Girl!
I am so deeply touched by your review...so much that it brought tears to my eyes. I wanted this to be a story of healing. It was so very hard to write at times as it is such a horrible subject to write about. I wanted her to come out being a survivor in this one. And as for our boy, I honestly think he would react like that. Ron is such a wonderful character to write. I love his humor, his wit and charm. I also love his passion and fierce loyalty and protectiveness. I do not think he would have handled Hermione being raped very well at all. As for who was responsible for Aaron disappearing, I left that to the reader's imagination. For me, it was Ron and Charlie who finally did what they had to do! *grins*
And I love Charlie! I picture him as this bad boy in my mind. A VERY bad boy! *waggles eyebrows* Ron is my entree and I'd like to think of Charlie as my dessert! *laughs*
You truly have been so kind. I am so overwhelmed by your review. l thank you from the bottom of my heart! *hugs*
Date: 10/06/2009 08:11 AM Title: Chapter 11 - Epilogue
This was really well done. I think you captured the details of their reactions. Ron was true to his character, but in a grown-up, Auror-trained way--and his unwavering love and support for Hermione were beautiful. Poor Hermione! Staggering that they could give him a slap on the wrist for such an obvious assault, with all the evidence from St. Mungo's AND photos. It was interesting that you managed to keep it plausibly within a (post) canon timeline, too, with extra motivation for Hermione to go into Magical Law. Loved the sisters-in-law banding together, and how Charlie had made his point to Molly. AND how the Code was practically a character. And liked the very end, as well, vigilante though it may be, considering how corrupt the system was.
Hello Beautiful earthlight!
I was blown away by your review. It really touched me! Thank you for that. I was honestly trying to take a very delicate subject and try to write a story that didn't cross the line. I wanted to explore how being raped would have affected our girl and also Ron. It was one of the most emotionally draining stories I've ever written. As a woman, I tried putting myself in her place while I was writing this story and at times it really took a toll on me. Hermione is such a strong character in canon and I didn't want to take that away from her in this story. I thank you again for such an eloquent review as it truly made my day! *hugs*
Date: 10/06/2009 06:38 AM Title: Chapter 1
Just wanted to let you know I read this a while ago.
You are a fantastic writer.
My KaL!!! *squee!*
Three words for you dearest....I love you! *hugs* You make me cry happy tears and for that I cannot thank you enough!
XXX and more *hugs*,
Date: 10/05/2009 11:33 PM Title: Chapter 1
Whoa! How did I miss this story?!! Will definetly need to catch up on this one..love your stuff always!
Hello Gorgeous FreeRaven!
You are such a sweetheart! Thanks for the lovely comments as they made me grin like a complete idiot! *hugs*
Date: 10/05/2009 09:57 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Epilogue
That was so good! I am glad that Ron and Hermione were able to get through that together in the end. You did such a wonderful job.
Hello Lovely boomer09!
Thank you so much for your kind words. It was hard to write due to the subject matter and I didn't want to cross a line. Thanks again for such a lovely review! *hugs*