Date: 06/20/2014 09:17 PM Title: Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Three: Roundabout
Kimberly, can you please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I need to find out if have contact with the admins. I've been trying to contact them for two weeks with no response.
Author's Response: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
Date: 06/18/2014 09:43 PM Title: Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Three: Roundabout
I'm glad to see you finished it, though the ending felt a bit rushed. There were several things I liked about the entire arc. I liked how you handled Harry's reaction to Hermione's revelation, how he fell in love with them as a couple. I like how you handled Australia, though I thought it could have used a bit more tension before forgiveness. I was glad to see her father confront her about "who are you to make decisions for us?"
I really liked your Luna.
I was very happy with the way you handled the revelation to Ginny. I had been very worried you were going to softball it given the way you had handled some other aspects, but I thought Ginny's anger level was appropriate, and her reaction afterward was very Weasely. Nice touch.
I think the property dispute should have been introduced sooner so that it could provide more tension over a longer period, but I did like the way it was resolved.
Some of the sex scenes needed a second set of eyes. I had to read the first intercourse a couple of times to understand what they were doing.
Finally, I thought you did a nice job of bridging into the known info for what happens after Hogwarts. Good work weaving all that together.
I hope to see more stories from you.
Author's Response: Thank you for your criticism, which I can't particularly disagree with. I wrote this story (last year) without knowing where it was going, and the whole property dispute popped up out of nowhere, past the midpoint of what I had already decided would be 150 chapters. (So then I had to get it resolved by the time Ron moved in.) I'm very pleased you think I succeeded with Luna, because she's one of the trickiest characters to capture. This story aside, I don't write as much fanfic as I used to, but I may get inspired again. Thanks again for taking the time to comment.