Date: 04/11/2009 06:36 PM Title: Chapter 1
Wow, really a different and interesting read. Not something I'd considered, but you did a fine job of portraying it in such a short space. I'd be more interested to see some kind of character development, something that brings her out of this shell. It's magic, isn't it? What's it good for if it can't get you into the body you were meant for? That is obviously a different approach, but I think could be a very interesting one to pursue (in greater detail). You've got a real skill with words and conveying depth of feeling. Now I'd be interested to see breadth of feeling!
Best of luck writing!