- Describe yourself in five words.
Strange, unusual, obsessive, pessimistic, basketcase.
- How did you get your start in fandom? What drew you into writing fan fiction?
I’ve been an active reader in quite a few OTHER fandoms before (Star Trek, Star Wars, X-Files, Buffy), but I’d never written anything before. There was just something about this universe that has been created, these characters. It seemed to jump off the page at me. And when I went looking for HP fanfiction, the first writer I found was snegurochka_lee and her wonderful Snupin. One weekend I sat and read everything on her website, then went looking for more. That was the beginning of my happy downfall into fandom. And when I couldn’t find more of the pairings I wanted to read, I tried writing. And that was the beginning of my addiction.
- You’re having you Co-Captains over for drinks and Karaoke. What do you serve each of them? Which song will each of them sing?
Kerryblaze – Will be drinking something fruity…and will be forced to get up and sing “These Boots were Made for Walking”
Satindolls – Top Shelf Margaritas. She and I will duet on (what else) “Margaritaville” and “Cheeseburger in Paradise”
Simons Flower – will be quietly sipping wine. At the end of the night, she’ll get up stun us by singing a beautiful rendition of “Hungry like the Wolf”
Madam Minnie – will be drinking Flaming Doctor Peppers while singing a duet with me – “The ABCs of Kinky Sex”
I will be drinking Tequila and singing every Beatles song…all at the same time.
- Are there any writers that inspire you? Any fandom writers?
Robert Heinlein inspires me to write and read literature that is beyond the norm. Shows me that generally accepted rules for behavior are complete bullshit. His writing has made me see that everyone has to realize what THEY want out of life and have the courage to reach for that. I love any fandom writer who can make my heart do a little flip. Satindolls and Kerryblaze do it regularly with their RP and their fic. Shocfix does it with her emotionally charged writing. Moonix does it with the absolute beauty of her prose.
- What is your favorite Harry Potter Book? Why?
Goblet of Fire. Because the first time I finished reading it was sitting in a hotel room the night before my two best friends got married while I was rewriting my Maid of Honor speech for the 935th time. GoF was really the first HP book that seemed to me like it could be a part of this epic story arc that had been promised. The characters and situations were more deeply written. This book firmly made me fall in love with the HP universe.
- Word association: Harry, Ron, Ginny, Fenrir, Lucius, Molly, and Pansy.
Harry – courageous
Ron – true
Ginny – bugs the hell out of me
Fenrir – gray and menacing
Lucius – evil refinement
Molly – home
Pansy – dark and mysterious and a little odd (when I read Pansy, I think of Mrs. White in the movie ‘Clue’)
- Who is your favorite Character? Why?
Sirius Black. He’s tragic, petulant, flawed, funny, and loyal and I always imagine him in leather. And eyeliner.
- You are directing a Sirius/Remus scene? Give us the setting.
Marauder’s Era. Still in school, and they’ve just realized that they are perfect for each other. The snog like mad at any (semi)private place around the school. And get caught by Dumbledore, naked in one of the empty classrooms at night. Dumbledore laughs, tells them to enjoy themselves & transfigures one of the tables into a bed before he turns around to leave.
- Why did you join the staff of The Quidditch Pitch?
I’d gotten to know the Captains a bit. I was completely in awe of their writing. And I’m always vaguely surprised that anyone remembers who I am. I was really happy to be able to help out by doing something I do well.
- You can have an intimate dinner with anyone in the world. Who do you have diner with? What would you discuss?
serious answer My sister. I never get to spend enough time with her. I’d love to just have free time to sit down and talk with her about everything that’s going on in her life.
not so serious answer George Carlin. I would talk to him about EVERYTHING. I want to hear him rant about anything that’s on his mind.
- What does your pen name stand for and how did you come by it?
My penname is stolen from one of my favorite poems.
Dream Within a Dream by Edgar Allan Poe
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
- What moment in the HP movies have the left out that you feel should have been included?
Sirius for the entirety of Goblet of Fire. I am a little biased as I’m such a huge fan of the character. But there’s just this connection that Harry and Sirius make in the book that ISN’T THERE in the movie universe. There isn’t as large a lead up to the events in OotP if that relationship between the two is lacking.
- Describe your Co-Captains in ten words or less.
Quirky, wonderful group of women I was fortunate to meet.
- You’re given a day to show JKR around your favorite city. What would you show her and give us three questions you would ask.
My favorite city is Washington D.C. I’d take her on a walking tour of the Mall. In the Natural History Museum, I’d ask her which character (aside from Harry) is her favorite. We’d take a jaunt over to the American History Museum. As we were playing around in the gift shop, I’d ask her what was the strangest plot she came up with and never developed. Then finally, we’d get ice cream, and sit by the Reflecting Pool and watch all the people passing by. I’d ask her what she really thinks of what other people write with her characters. Does fanfic upset her? Does slash fanfic upset her? Is there any particular tenet of fanon that annoys her?
- The Captains and the following Characters have been chosen for the next Real World London. Characters: Ron, Harry, Fred, George, Voldemort. Which two would hook up? Which one would get drunk and arrested?
George would get drunk and thrown in jail overnight to sober up. Fred would get arrested trying to break him out of jail. Harry and Ron would hook up many times, and Voldemort would spend hours on end in the Confessional complaining about how they keep him up at night…when really he’s just jealous and wants to be invited to joint them. Voldemort will develop a strange and rare disease, and leave the show half-way through the season to pursue his “music career”. He will turn up on the reunion show having gone though a complete makeover. Harry and Ron will both hook up with the newly blond and metrosexual Voldemort after the reunion show. Fred and George will record the encounter and sell the sex tapes online and make millions.
And through it all The Captains would be drinking, partying and carousing.
- What do you think Harry’s fate will be in Book 7?
Ultimately I think light will triumph over dark. Harry won’t end up doing it alone. I’d love to have him ultimately kill Voldemort and go on to have a happy life, but I think that he will win, but eventually be completely destroyed himself.
Personally I’d like for it to end with Voldemort becoming a lounge singer in Vegas while Harry, Ron & Draco become showgirls in his performance. But somehow, I don’t think this is in the cards.
- Okay the cherry stem thing…how did you learn this skill?
I’ve always had a talented tongue. And I liked to drink things with Maraschino Cherries (Shirley Temples progressed to Tequila Sunrises). One time I was out drinking and one of my friends started talking about talents. My *ahem* friend (could be read friend with benefits) Chris started talking about my talented tongue. He was the one who dared me to try to tie the stem of the cherry I was playing with into a knot. I was the only one able to do it without cheating. It became a bar/party trick for me to see how quickly I could do it. And it sorta progressed from there.
- You’re meeting the actors from the Harry Potter movies you get to ask them one question each. What question do you ask? What do you think their response will be?
Dan Radcliffe – Settle a bet for us: are you bisexual, or just gay? Gay, definitely gay. I’d shag Rupert in a heartbeat.
Rupert Grint – I have a couple friends that are dying to meet you. Would you like to join us all for a night on the town? Sure, why not. Um…what did you say was in this drink? How many of you are there?
Emma Watson – What’s it like working with such a large number of gorgeous men? Heaven on earth.
James & Oliver Phelps – Have you ever had a threesome? Would you like to? Yes and Yes. We have a suite with a huge tub. Wanna come see it?
Tom Felton– Fishing, huh? Really? Really, really? What’s wrong with fishing?
Devon Murray – Will you marry me and just speak to me in that accent every day for the rest of our lives? Yes, as long as the Phelps twins come along, too.
Gary Oldman – Who would win in a battle between Batman and Vlad the Impaler? Act it out for me? After two months of costuming and getting in the mood, Gary graces me with the most wonderful acting performance I’ve ever seen live.
Jason Isaacs – Will you put on the wig and sneer at me for a bit? No, seriously…you’ve played a wide range of bad guy characters. Which was the most fun to play? Which role did you like best? He puts on his best sneer for about 30 seconds then regales me with behind-the-scenes tales of who is sleeping with whom and we both completely forget about the question.
Alan Rickman – (after presenting him with a collection of really smutty fanfic) – Would you read me a bedtime story or two? This one is really called ‘Big Dick, Come Quick’? You really want me to read this? Well then, let us begin. “You have absolutely no evidence on which to base your theory.”
Maggie Smith – You are fabulous. I have no questions. I just want to sit here and bask in the glory of your acting ability. Is that OK?
- What are your hopes for The Quidditch Pitch?
I hope we can turn the site (or collection of sites, rather) into a community that writers will enjoy. Where we can talk about absolutely inane things and things that really matter to us in fandom and in life. I want to help create a community that people like to spend time to find new stories, new discussions. I want to help entertain people. And I want everyone to bow down to the Quidditch Mistress.
- If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live?
I want to try living in New York, London and San Francisco. But after the travel settles down the one place I’ve been that I could spend the rest of my life would be Longboat Key, Florida. Spend the rest of my life being a beach bum…but in a nice community.
- What are your four favorite Jimmy Buffet songs?
I sing “A Pirate Looks at Forty” in the shower all the time. I love “Halloween in Tijuana” because Harrison Ford does the whip cracks for the song. My parents used to sing “Little Miss Magic” to me as a lullaby. My favorite song to hear performed live is “Southern Cross”. I used to end every mix tape I made with “Lovely Cruise”. “Fruitcakes” makes me get up and dance every single time I hear it. I cry whenever I hear “Coast of Marseille”. And if you ever get me in a Tequila drunken stupor, I will most likely be singing “Why Don’t we Get Drunk and Screw”, loudly…to anyone who walks near.
- Write us your obituary.
Melanie, aged 103, died today in bed. Her 24-year-old companions, Mindy and Maurice, were shocked to find she had died peacefully in her sleep after a night of vigorous sex. She is survived by many friends and family. Her family invites you to attend the memorial service Friday at the Corner Pub. There will be much drinking and grokking, come prepared to stay until the wee hours of the morning.
- Do you have any advice for first time submitters to The Quidditch Pitch?
Don’t be afraid to put your work out there. Our betas are fabulous and will help work out any kinks. We love reading new stories, so SUBMIT...or, erm, something less forceful that won’t scare our new authors.
- In your writing do find your own fetishes and kinks are parlayed into your stories?
I love to read about my fetishes (leather, bondage, etc.) but I find that I don’t write it well. My work tends to be fluffy and happy. And I don’t seem to be able to fit my kinks in with that.
- Give us three things you love about fandom and why.
Humor – most of the people I’ve met in fandom share my sense of humor. I get along so well with so many of you all.
Strange discussions – I’ve learned so much about subjects that I’d have never thought to ask about if it hadn’t been for people sharing their lives in their journals.
Even when I post something completely off the wall at 3am…there’s always someone there to offer their opinion or advice about it.
- What is your theme song?
Queen, “Fat Bottom Girls”
- What Superhero would you want to be?
I’ve always wanted to be Wonder Woman. I used to wear my Wonder Woman Underoos out to
play save the world.
- What is your super sekrit guilty pleasure?
Mpreg. When I reach my hormonal peak during the month, I read lots and lots of mpreg. *blushes*
- You have handcuffs, leather , and a feather. Which Harry Potter Character would you most like to use them on you?
Fred and George Weasley. I know I have an unhealthy obsession with the twins. I want them both to tie me to the bed and drive me out of my mind. In tandem.
- If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go?
Right now, the easy answer is Home. (“Show me the way to go home. I’m tired and I wanna go to bed. I had a little drink about an hour ago and it’s gone right to my head. Where ever I may roam. On land or sea or foam. You will always hear me singing this song. Show me the way to go home.”)
But since I get to go there tomorrow…I’ll pick somewhere else. It would probably be a tie between London and Rome. Rome would be beautiful and full of history. But London is…well, London has been a dream of mine for longer than I can remember. I want to go explore the city and see all the sights I’ve only read about.
- You and your Co-Captains are vacationing together: Where do you go? Who loses all their money in a casino? Who stays drunk the entire time? Who will sunbath topless, and who’s most likely too snog as many people as they can on a dare?
Anywhere tropical…but civilized. There has to be running water, and flowing booze.
I can see Simons Flower in a casino, but not losing. Great strategist and she comes out with more $$ than she went in with.
I would most likely be naked as often as possible. Me drunk usually = me losing my clothes. So, sunbathing topless…or streaking through the hotel lobby at midnight are both likely to happen.
Satindolls and Kerryblaze get drunk and spend all night writing pr0n and daring Madam Minnie and I to do crazy things. Which leads to:
Madam Minnie and I get dared into a head to head snogging competition. We each have to find someone to snog, then take a shot. Minnie accuses me of cheating when I spend the rest of the night getting kisses and shots from a women’s Rugby team (hey, it’s my fantasy…we can run into a group of ruggers in the tropics in my mind).
- Why does Simons Flower keep killing Ron?
Because she is EVIL. (“Really evil. Like, so evil that you would say it was eeevil. Like it’s the fruits of the devil.”)
- What surprises you most about yourself?
What I’ve been able to do. Like moving to Chicago. I was terrified of moving 1000 miles away from where I’d lived all my life. But I put my mind to it and said “I can do this”…and I did it. It’s pretty much the same thing with me getting over my fear of flying. I have to convince myself that I can do it every time I get on a plane, and I’m surprised every time I make it through another flight without completely losing it.
Well, that plus I’m amazingly flexible
- When you’re writing do you see Dan Radcliffe as Harry in your stories? How about Rupert as Ron?
I definitely see Rupert as Ron. But Harry, I see as a bit different than Dan. A bit more haunted. Though in the last movie, he became closer to how I see Harry.
- What was the most shocking moment in the Harry Potter series thus far?
Sirius’s death. I really didn’t expect it at all. I had fallen so in love with the character by the end of OotP, and the whole scenario at the Ministry I thought that something was going to happen…but I never suspected that.
- You’ve invented a lust potion: Give us five HP Characters you’d use it on and three real people or fictional characters?
HP – I’d give it to Harry, Ron & Draco and lock them in a room together…while recording it for posterity…from many angles. The other two doses, I’d give to Neville and Snape and watch them get over the hatred, and then shag like bunnies all night.
Real Life – Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie and Drew Barrymore. Plus me. Equals a WONDERFUL night.
- Each of your co-captains is a Harry Potter Character who are they and why?
Satindolls – Ron. She has Ron’s voice perfectly. She’s loyal and helpful and comes up with some of the dirtiest scenarios I’ve ever read.
Kerryblaze – Harry. Even if she weren’t writing the most brilliantly obtuse Harry in the world, I’d still see her as Harry. She takes care of Ron. She’s lots of fun. And the pictures you shared this week – the glasses! Yes…definitely Harry.
Simons Flower – Hermione. I agree with Minnie completely. Trisha loves to torture Ron…and she does it with such inventiveness…definitely Hermione.
Madam Minnie – Remus, so she can go riding off on the back of my bike with me. Or, after that lovely piece she wrote yesterday, Lucius – torturing us all so sweetly with her words.
- Remus/Sirius-explain your love for them in 100 words or less.
I love the idea of friends falling in love. Sirius is always so willing to try new things. And Remus is just looking for comfort and acceptance. They seem like the perfect match. Impetuous and cautious. And the whole torn apart for years, for no good reason…then reuniting! We will ignore anything that happens after OotP. Mostly because Remus would NEVER end up with She-who-will-not-be-named.
- Pick up lines: You have five nights of bar hopping. There is a Harry Potter character in each bar. Give us your best pick up lines: Remus, Ginny, Pansy, Harry, Sirius.
Sirius – Nice shoes, wanna shag?
Remus – I have this lovely first edition back at my flat. Would you like to come see it. First edition of what? Does it really matter?
Ginny – Let me show you how to fly without a broomstick.
Pansy – Yes, I’m rich, why do you ask?
Harry – That shirt is very becoming on you. If I were on you I’d be coming, too.
- You’ve been invited to shag all the entire Weasley family. Give us them in order of appearance.
Percy; Ron; Charlie and Bill (yes, at the same time); Ron and Harry (he got bored, so he came back and look, he brought his “brother”, too); FrednGeorge (also at the same time); Ginny (oh, and the twins come back to watch, then join us); and then we’d all end up in a sweaty naked pile at the end of the evening cuddling together.