The Staff
The Quidditch Pitch

Meet the Staff of The Quidditch Pitch





The Captains:  The lunatics who run the asylum

Annie: Also known as the Plot Bunny Warden.  By day she's a mild mannered payroll clerk but by night she dons her Wonder Woman cape and uses her magic lasso to capture Ron Weasley.  She longs to own a time tuner so she can get everything done in one day that she needs to do.  She is one of the founders of the site and is more than slightly insane.

Auntee Mame: Also known as Ron's Master.  She is the Captain we rely on to come in and get the job done.  She's the master of interviews in podcasting and she fills in while the rest of us take rest and relaxation.

Deena: Also known as .  She hails from the Land of 10,000 Black Lakes where by day she's a mild mannered Radio Talk Show host/Self Help Guru and by night she's Super Beta.  She spends her evenings correcting grammar and spelling all while running a child care out of her home.  She can change diapers and fix boo boos all at the same time.  Late at night, when all the children have gone home, a transformation takes place.  She hums "Crazy For You" as she taunts a caged up Draco Malfoy.  She occasionally sneaks in a snog with Harry or Ron while Draco cries in the corner.  The boys and her throw back shots of Firewhisky, sing loudly, and practice "Noninebriato" to get rid of the effects of the alcohol while Draco tries to impress them with his Dark Mark.

Kele: Our Advisory Captain, she hails originally from the Island of Hawaii and now lives in an undisclosed location south of the Mason-Dixon line.  She spends her days brewing body cleansing potions and at night she plots ways to seduce her favorite character, Ronald Weasley.  She's developing a nosmuttusinteruptus potion so that those cliffhangers that end in a bad spot can continue right away.  Her favorite spell is the Tieronupus spell which she is able to cast wandlessly while drinking fresh brewed coffee.  Her plan for world dominance is super-sekrit, but we get word that she and her muse have a plan.

Madam Minnie: Also known as the Maven of Porn.  By day she provides materials to educators by night she grabs her suitcase of "toys" and begins her pursuit of Snape.  She is also one of the founding Captains.

Simons Flower: Also known as the Empress of Trio Smut, Evil, and Angst.  By day she supervises her minions by night she dons her fishnet and corset to set out seducing Harry Potter.  Co-founder and Duran Duran fan...be afraid be very afraid.


The Assistant Captains:  Those who assist the lunatics

Emily: Brave assistant to Captain Trisha.  [bio to appear later]


The Quidditch Coordinators:  Those brave souls who have taken on the task of working our story queue.

Amy: [bio to apear later]

Brumeux77: Hails from New York, New York where he just wanted to be a part of it!  By day he's a hagiographer and by night he's the much needed supplier of testosterone to the ladies of The Quidditch Pitch.  He and Harry spend a great deal of time casting Cheering charms on the Captains when it's that time of the month.  They feel it's for the good of all Muggle and Wizarding kind.  They are truly heroes of the both worlds.  He likes to sing "Wild Thing" while passing out a Rejuvenating Potions to his fellow Quidditch Assistants.

Cedar: Hails from the city of snow, wind, and crime.  She spends days collecting library dust and her evenings in her laboratory.  She is current working on a FiveHourusMore Potion so that she will gain more time to combine fandom and real life obligations.  She is an expert at the Imperius Curse and uses it frequently on her favorite characters Ron Weasley and Minerva McGonagall to make them sing her theme song, "Tom Sawyer" by Rush, over and over.  She has a plan for world dominance that shall allow her to rule it all.  She is inventing a windshield wiper that doesn't hold parking tickets.  She may start a Fight Club but she's not talking...

Dee Ryma: hails originally from Pennsylvania but currently resides in the hills of Eastern Tennessee.  By day, she's a screenwriter/Avon Lady/indentured servant/cubicle prisoner.  With that many jobs, we asked what her super-sekrit superhero identity was and she told us she could tell us but then she would have to kill us.  The Captains aren't faint of heart but when pressed she would only reply, "It's something to do with a Pirate..."  Arghhhhh...sorry we asked.  In her spare time, she uses Accio to summon her potion ingredients so she can work on her two time-consuming quests:  Finding a cure for lycanthropy and moldy curtains in mysterious archways.  She's very indecisive about which character she loves the most and when we asked who she'd like to tie up she blushed and said she's not into bondage.  She ran away singing her theme song:  Should I Stay or Should I Go.

Hysterical Hystorian: Also known as Abigail89, she resides in the dark side of the forbidden forest.  By day she's a lazy Quality Assurance Inspector of Quills and Ink who uses Accio to summon her work.  By night she runs her beta work by a tied up Harry Potter.  She's spends a great deal of spare time testing her non-jitters-inducing form of caffeine potion on our Quidditch Assistants.  She's working to perfect it so that moms and betas can complete everything with time to spare.  She's been arrested three times at the Hogshead for singing "You Could Have it So Much Better" after a few too many Drifty Cosmos.

Leviathan: [bio to appear later

Thaliachaunacy: is the Love for Luna Lovegood Taskforce Leader as part of the Ravenclaw Defence League.  She dons her cape of justice and ferrets out any dislike of Luna in all of fandom by day and by night she is Super Beta.  She uses her red pen of justice to correct the grammar and spelling errors of wonderful authors.  She likes to hum her theme song "Walking on Sunshine" while she perfects her use of Lumos.  (Don't tell her we told you, but she's afraid of the dark.)  Her spare time is spent kidnapping all the Harry Potter characters and allowing Ron Weasley to practice his binding charms on them.  She and Ms. Lovegood have been working on a Arsesremovus potion.  She tells us that this potion shall get the metaphorical sticks out of people's metaphorical arses.  She also wants you to know that "It rains nine months of the year in Seattle" which may explain her fear of the dark.

The Steppy One:

Wolfiekins: was raised by pack of wild coyote/keeshond mongrels along the southern shore of Lake Erie, Ashtabula County, Ohio.  Not as unusual as one might think for these parts.  His pack name was P'au D'nabbo (Iroquois for He Who Drinks A Lot).  By day he's a  Mid-Level minion in hellish manufacturing setting disturbingly similar to the one seen at Eisengard in the LOTR films.  By night he's the ANGST AVENGER, bringing anxiety to where it's needed most.  His special skill that he uses to defeat the wicked is opening beer bottles with nose and as a side note he likes to hang head out of window when riding in a car.  In his spare time he likes to tie up Ron Weasley and, if he's having a really good night, Charlie and Bill join in.  In a pinch, he captures Sam and Dean from Supernatural and practices his banishing charms on them.  (How else are you going to get rid of those tight fitting denims/boxer briefs?)  He currently works twice a week in his laboratory working on a Felis Tropicalis Potion which immediately creates a three-dimensional illusion of being on a palm-shaded, white sand, tropical beach, waited upon by willing native servants.  If brewed correctly, the servants will resemble extremely buff, slightly furry and scantily clad Rupert Grints (note:  if the servants look like Jensen Ackles and/or Jared Padalecki, that's an acceptable variant) while singing "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by The Rolling Stones.


The Quidditch Assistants:  The backbone of any good site – our staff of beta readers

Aperryx:

IamAGhost: the kicker of arses, she hails from the Spokane, Washington but her dream is to live at Disneyland. Her mission is to tie Lucius Malfoy up in the It’s a Small World ride and do naughty things to him.  Her favorite spell is the Tripus Imediatus spell--It suits her Slytherin tendencies. She's currently working on a potion called Makeus Outus Everyone of Us. She contends that all the world needs now is love--or a lot of snogging. We'd also like to mention that Pink song "Trouble" was written about her.

Indie: is a whip-wielding historian during the day and by night she's plotting the over throw of Professor Binns.  She's been trained by none other than Indiana Jones himself and uses her "practice" whips to tie up Remus Lupin at night.  She hails originally from Athens, Greece and currently resides in Birmingham, UK.  She's perfected the use of Reparo and utilizes it fully in her beta work.  She's currently working on an Amortentia potion that she plans to sell to her fellow betas so they can get their groove on with their favorite characters.  She's been known to sing "Vera" by Pink Floyd off-key at The Leaky Cauldron and has been thrown out twice for asking Tom to get her another bourbon while dancing on the bar.

Mench: hails from Manila, Philippines.  By day she's a wand maker and by night she is wielding her wand to create beta magic.  She practices her favorite spell Accio to summon Harry and Hermione to pleasure a tied up Ron Weasley for her amusement.  She sings him to sleep each night with her fabulous rendition of "These Dreams" by Heart.  She is secretly working on a correctus mistakus potion although she does fear she'll be out of a beta job if it works.

Nathaniel:

Rhichi:

Tellemonstar: is a Honeydukes sweet taster by day and a hard-working beta reader by night.  She hails from the land down under and on the weekends she travels to Hogwarts to stalk Ron.  Sometimes it's Fred and Neville, but mostly it's Ron she likes to tie up and practice her Duplication Potion on.  She's hoping to perfect the potions so she'll have two Rons for the price of one. She uses her favorite spell Evanesco to remove all traces of Ron from the room and later uses Lumos to keep Harry from seeing her secret. And hey, “She Doesn't Feel Like Dancing”!

The Trio Makes Me Hot: hails from Eastern North Carolina.  By day she’s a mild mannered beta reader but by night she’s an Erotic Dream Instigator.  She’s been known to slip into the Hogwarts dormitories late at night and “tease” the boys.  Her two favorite spells are Evanesco and Accio.  She’s fond of using the combination of the two spells to summon a naked Harry Potter to her.  (We’re not sure where his clothes actually went and neither is she.)  Her hobbies include Karoke (where she’s been known to belt out her theme song “One Hot Momma”) and potion making.  She is currently working on Polytentia X, which is something of a naughty cross between the Polyjuice Potion and Amortentia.  It would transform any available male into a Harry Potter character (varies depending on my mood) who was head over heels in lust with her.


Nifflers:  Those that seek high and low for fic

Amy: [bio to appear later]


Transcriptionist:

[position currently open]


The Voice of The Quidditch Pitch:

Leelastarsky is known in fandom for many things, her exquisite artwork, her sense of humor, her love for Star Wars, and now she is the voice of The Quidditch Pitch.  She is currently serving on staff to bring a variety of stories to life each month.


Last modified 10 April 2009